Will Blog for Beer

death ring for cutie
Here's a drinking game called Death Ring that I played at a house party with lots of fun loving party people. Not quite sure how we all ended up in the bed together, but lets just say I had a great time :)

The name alone should inspire great caution. Gather many risk-loving friends, mass hordes of beer, two decks of cards and get ready for some serious consumption.

Everyone is in a circle. The first person draws a card. The next person draws a card. If the card is related to the first card drawn (related meaning it is the same value or if it is the same suit) then both players must drink the number of sips as on their card. (jack=11 drinks, queen=12, etc.). If they have both have the exact same card then they have to drink double the face value. Ok, if that doesn't sound bad enough, it gets worse. The next person in the circle is the one who gets to count the sips the first two are drinking, as fast or slow as he/she wants. But, and this is a big but, if one of the drinkers finishes their beer before the counting is done, then the person counting has to finish his beer. (It is best to play this game with cans of beer or cups so you can bluff as to how much beer you have left). Ok, now, the third person draws, if the card is related to either the 1st or 2nd card, then all 3 have to drink (the fourth person counts), and say that one and two had a match, then they still drink double. Now continue around the circle. If a card drawn fails to be related, the ring is broken, and start again. If the ring makes it all around the circle, then the first guy gets rid of his card and becomes the counter, then is next to draw a new card.

Ok, a sample round. Let's have 6 people in the ring.

• player 1 draws a 7 of clubs
• player 2 draws a 9 of clubs
• player 3 counts to 9 while players 1 and 2 drink (player 1 stops at 7 drinks)
• player 3 draws a 7 of hearts
• player 4 counts to 14, player one finishes beer before 4 is done counting, player 4 has to finish beer
• player 4 draws a 10 of hearts
• player 5 counts to 14
• player 5 draws a 9 of diamonds
• player 6 counts to 18
• player 6 draws a 4 of hearts
• player 1 discards his 7 of clubs (no longer in play) and counts to 18
• player one draws....etc.

Be careful with this one!
by: guerillamilk comments: 1540 10/10/2006 12:16:57 PM

Drunk Dial My Heart
This is somewhat an Ode to the cell phone and how it has transformed our lives. From standing in line at the pay phone trying to return a page, to emailing pics of the drunk b*tch that fell down the stairs at the club within seconds of the occurence. The cell phone has also changed the way the drunk communicate with the sober.

Case in point :: DRUNK DIALING

Think about it. You're drunk so you're not going to remember someone's phone number. But who needs to when they're all programmed into my phone right here?!?!? I can call everyone I know! Sounds like fun at 4am on the way home from Taco Bell.

Drunk dialing is such a phenomenon that there are websites popping up everywhere that are dedicated to it. My favorite site is Slacker Town .

Steps for Drunk Dialing Slacker Town:
1. Get Drunk
2. Find A Phone
3. Call 321-600-1200
4. Leave A Message
5. Come back later and see what people think

Our Mission is to provide you with a safe drunk dialing alternative.

This site will post your drunken message on their site, and people can listen to it, then leave a comment about it. Now you'll never be able to use the "I was drunk I don't remember" excuse again and can actually laugh at yourself in the morning...along with everyone else online.

OK the theory behind the site is brilliant, but the whole point of drunk dialing is to do something completely inappropriate! To call the Ex and say everything that you always wanted to say. Wake up folks right before it's time for them to get up for work. Just call and laugh like hell, because right about now everything is hysterical. So now we have a "safe drunk dialing alternative". Is it as much fun?? I don't know. Doubt. I enjoy drunk dialing quite a bit, but it's certainly worth a shot. It'd be funny to actually hear what I sound like when I drunk call. Maybe then I could understand why the person on the other end doesn't find it nearly as funny as I do.

:: BREAKING NEWS ::

Forget a safe drunk dialing environment. This may be the end of drunk dialing as we know it! A Korean cell phone, the LP4100, has a built-in breath analyzer that, when blown into by an intoxicated bar hopper, gives a warning and displays a nifty little animation of a car swerving on a road and crashing into traffic cones. (Which should be easy for even the tipsy mind to understand.)

The phone can also be programmed to block selected numbers in the address book--bosses, moms, exes, pizzerias--if the breath analyzer records a blood-alcohol concentration over 0.08.

This blog has officially turned into a campaign to save Drunk Dialing. It is an American past-time just like baseball and cow tipping. Before you know it there’ll be no more hamburgers, tailgating at the football game, or American Idol. You don’t want that do you? Keep on Drunk Diaing!!!
by: guerillamilk comments: 374 10/5/2006 6:59:23 PM

Think Tank
Stuff we’re not really working on…

1.cheapdrinks toolbar
2.search engine that pulls up nothing you’re looking for but links that we think are fresh
3.scratch and sniff bar pics
4.USB breathalyzer
5.cheapdrinks spyware
6.portable piss detector to take to Lake Lewisville and public pools
7.cheapdrink cozies…cuz coozies are so freakin dope
8.drunk dialing service to better suite your drunken needs

Got ideas? Send them to info@dallascheapdrinks.com. The Programmer will probably never work on your idea, but at least we'll be entertained for a few minutes. If it's dumb enough, it may make the front page of this site for everyone to point and laugh at you. Don't know if you've got what it takes? Compare yourself to this Pimp Turtle settin one of his ho's straight....

by: guerillamilk comments: 202 10/4/2006 11:44:10 PM

You think you know, but you have no idea...
I'm on my way to pick up my new laptop. I've looked up directions on Google maps, so I'm good. I start driving. And driving. Oh wait a minute, what's my exit? It has to be after Park. So I exit. And keep driving down the service road becuase it's right off of 75 South. Or is it 75 North? I'll see a sign I'm sure. Knox/Henderson. No CompUSA. Mockingbird. I'll call the programmer.

"Tank can you Google Maps me? I'm lost."
"It's in between NW Hwy and Walnut Hill".

Cool. I make the U-Turn and drive up 75 North. It can't be next to Best Buy because that's the competition. It just wouldn't make sense. 635E/W. Damn. I have no sense of direction. I can't call The Programmer back. He'll think I'm an idiot.

"Cingular 411."
"Please press or say 1 for directions."
"One".
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you...".

Damnit. I have to call the programmer.

"Google Maps me."
"What the hell happened?"
"If I knew I probably wouldn't be lost."

The programmer and I just put out a new version of Google Maps on dallascheapdrinks.com completely inspired by today's big event. Just when you think you know exactly where the hell you're going, you've glanced at the map "Oh yeah I know where that is" then things don't work out the way you planned. But gas is much too expensive to just cruise around hoping to end up at your destination. We all know that Carson's is off the Dallas Tollway, but what's your exit? Mess this one up and it'll cost you at least $.45, which could possibly cut into your cheapdrinks budget.

The programmer likes to call the new addition...

guerillamilk: hey what is it you call the google maps thing? 2.0 beta something?
tank: just call it google map
guerillamilk: but what do you call it? i need it for blog research
tank: its AJAX using the google map api

So I was close, but whatever you want to call it...USE IT! Love it. Sleep with it. Give us suggestions. I think it took us longer to choose the font than it did to publish it on the site so it's possible we overlooked something that really matters. The programmer actually advised me today to put on my thinking cap, but I drank instead and this is officially my first cheapdrinks drunk blog. NO that has nothing to do with Google Maps, but with this site being about drinking and all I figured you'd somehow find it relevant.

Oh and by the way, CompUSA is the store directly next to Best Buy. Go Figure.
by: guerillamilk comments: 2230 10/4/2006 10:46:03 PM

Ode to Last Call
Last Call… Its hard to imagine that the night will soon end,
Round after round with your loved ones and friends
Clock strikes 15 till 2…Comes those depressing words
DJ through the speaker its heard…LAST CALL, GET YO BOOZE!
Slide up to bar, order as much as you can get…
In fear that your buzz might slip a bet, before you got the chance to get that’s beauty’s digits.
Movin in slow motion, try not to stumble and fall,
Bout 10 minutes to late….Sorry you missed Last Call….
DAMN! Aint that a B!tch!
by: guerillamilk comments: 14726 10/3/2006 10:48:37 AM

Beer Belly Shmeer Belly


Beer belly: A beer belly, beer gut, or pot belly is a physical human trait characterized by a horizontal overhang of fat above the waist, with little apparent fat on the rest of the body.

Now hear this!

“Alcohol contains calories, but drinking alcohol doesn't lead to weight gain, according to extensive medical research, and many studies report a small reduction in weight for women who drink.

The reason that alcohol doesn't increase weight is unclear, but research suggests that alcohol energy is not efficiently used. Alcohol also appears to increase metabolic rate significantly, thus causing more calories to be burned rather than stored in the body as fat.

Alcohol beverages contain no fat, no cholesterol, and very little sodium. The moderate consumption of alcohol is associated with better health and longer life than is either abstaining from alcohol or abusing alcohol.”

There’s not such thing as a Beer Belly folks! Weight is gained by eating too much, supersizing your french fries, and washing down your hangover pizza with 2 Liter Coke every Saturday afternoon. (OK I’m assuming I’m not the only one!) Of course we should always drink in moderation, but it’s refreshing to know that I don’t have to put down my cocktail to save my disappearing waistline.

Want to know more about the beer belly?!?

http://www.beerbellyblog.com/ Follow a man’s quest to find his 6 pack beneath the gut.
http://www.thebeerbelly.com/ Buy your very own beer belly!!
http://www.menshealth.co.uk/tests/fitness/belly.phtml Will you get a beer belly?


(http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/AlcoholCaloriesAndWeight.html)
by: guerillamilk comments: 211 10/1/2006 9:22:58 PM

How to Survive a Bar Fight!
Nothing is better than ending the week with a good night out and several drinks to officially welcome the weekend. Unfortunately, one too many can lead to your night ending with good old fashioned bar fight (especially if you're at Dukes!).

Here are just a few tips (brought to you by WikiHow.com ):

1. Try to avoid a fight at all costs. Chances are, if you're just hanging out with friends, nothing will happen. The two main causes of bar fights are jealousy and misunderstandings. Don't read into anything at all, because you're probably drunk and your judgement will be inaccurate. If you know that a potential fight is not due to a misunderstanding, then prepare to defend yourself.

2. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I have enough friends on my side? Is this a bar I never want to go into again? If you feel okay about all of this, it might be time to fight. If your opponent is more intoxicated then you, you are assured of a "win."

3. Know that most bar fights never evolve into much, as there are bartenders and bouncers that will quickly remove you from the establishment.

4. If you do not feel you will win, act like the "victim" in the situation. Because your opponent is intoxicated, you will come out on top and not be banned from the bar.

If the fight is completely unavoidable, then push back the coffee table, strap on a helmet, and push play:



by: guerillamilk comments: 2201 9/28/2006 9:09:32 PM

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